December 6, 2023

Notes by Om Shreejay

Review: 

Sumanji reviewed the story where on a train, some children were throwing things, making tantrums, and making a ruckus while their father was with them. Everyone was frustrated with the father because he wasn’t stopping his children. When someone asked the father to take care of his kids, he replied, “I’m sorry. We just got back from the hospital where their mother passed away and I don’t think they know how to deal with it and neither do I.” Upon hearing this the people on the train started acting kindly toward the children. That one piece of knowledge changed everything, though it was not the knowledge itself, but it was the understanding of that knowledge that caused the change.

We should live with intention to be happier and to realize that we are happiness itself. Key points of reflection –

1. Awareness leads to understanding – what you are aware of, you can change. Apply this to yourself – your thoughts, emotions, actions, attitude. 

2. What you are aware of, you cannot be. e.g., you are not your hands. You are the unchanging one in this body, not the body itself that changes.

We discussed last week’s RAW to spend 5 minutes each day by yourself – without anything and doing nothing. Direct your mind inward to think about your thoughts.  

Story:

In a small village, there was a little boy who was quick to anger and had a bad temper. He would scold and taunt people, so people would just avoid him. His parents told him to control his anger and to be kind, but it was not working. 

One day his father had an idea – he gave him a bag of nails and told him to hammer one nail into the fence any time he lost his temper or said something hurtful. On the first day the boy hammered 30 nails. Over time the number of nails he hammered started to go down because he was finding it tiresome to do it. So, he decided to start controlling his temper. Finally, he stopped hammering nails into the fence as he didn’t lose his temper at all for a few days. The boy shared this with his father, who then told him to remove the nails from the fence. The boy removed several nails, but he couldn’t get all of them off. What remained in the fence were holes where he removed the nails and the ones he couldn’t remove.  

Lesson from Story: 

The holes in the fence are like unkind words that have hurt us or hurt others. Even when we apologize, the words we say or the hurt felt by others don’t disappear, just like the holes in the fence. It may make things a little better, but what has been said cannot be unsaid. We must take great care with the words we use. 

The nails that could not be removed from the fence show that some words we say or things we do are so hurtful that we cannot let go of them. They begin to shape who we are in a negative way and can impact others greatly. 

Mental pain is more hurtful than physical pain. Even when the physical pain goes away, the associated mental pain stays with us in our memory. 

Lesson: Be kind and when you can’t, do no harm, physical or mental.

Activity: 

First Friend Dwija told us to give ourselves a big hug. She asked us if it was easier to hug yourself or hug a random person. Most people said it was easier to hug themselves. She asked if we are unkind or mean to people closest to us or to random people. Most people said we are unkind to ourselves or those closest to us. 

Since we are closest to ourselves, we can be unkind to ourselves by putting ourselves down or criticizing ourselves. 

When we are kind to ourselves in the way we talk to ourselves, we will naturally be kind to others. 

RAW:

Each day give someone a compliment (yourself included).